A few weeks ago I posed a question on my Facebook Page about if women felt lonely as a mom- the response was overwhelming. All but one person responded that they did in fact feel lonely as a mom. I started to realize- that most moms- probably feel a bit lonely. Some more than others depending on their circumstances- but what could we do about it. As a mother and founder of The Sanity Savers– I’m using my skills to give women tangible things that they can do in their life to improve their circumstances. So what’s a girl to do when she feels lonely and her day is dictated by tiny humans?
I think it’s crucial to talk to someone. Some prefer a therapist, some a friend, some their own mother or confident, some their spouse or partner. It doesn’t really matter who you talk to- so much as the type of person. This person should be able to listen, empathize, and offer support or advice (IF you want it). They should not be judgy or argumentative. They should not make you feel guilty or whiny. It’s important to chose someone who you trust and can be honest with.
That’s the second part- honesty. I think there’s this underlying fear with women, not wanting to admit they feel one way or another. The fear of judgment. The fear of being called a fake. The fear of everything falling apart. But here’s the thing- there is nothing wrong with feeling: angry, frustrated, upset, hurt, left out, sub par- they are all feelings that as adults we learn to navigate- but this amazing process happens when we open up and break down these walls. The stress dissipates, our fears come out and we open ourselves up for healing. So be honest. Really honest, and say how you really feel.
Find some friends- no one likes the whole “dating” portion of finding friends, but unless you put yourself out there and find some friends who really get you- you’re going to be stuck in the same cycle. Where can you find friends? Talk to someone at the park, gym, or kids activity/sport. Strike up a conversation- you have the BEST icebreaker- KIDS. Generally I start conversations like “Which one is yours? Oh my goodness, such a cute outfit” and things just go from there. People always want to talk about their kids- so open the door, you’ll know after a few events if you’re hitting it off or not. There’s also tons of moms groups on facebook that do playdates and such. Not on facebook- meetup.com. We get so used to hiding behind our phone we forget about the benefit of real social interaction. And friends can make all the difference when you feel lonely.
Something beautiful happens when we take a risk and open ourselves up and be honest with people. We tell them how we really feel. We forget the fear of judgement and we just speak. People want honesty. They want connection. They want to feel not alone. And when we do those three things we start to make real human connections with people. We start to live and thrive instead of just surviving. We start to grow.
What is something you do to not feel lonely anymore?